Dear Hi-baller Marketing people

by admin on September 3, 2009

Dear Hi-baller Marketing people:

So I decided to contact you because I was at the latest StarupWeekend.com in San Francisco. And you had sponsored it, so your drinks were there. And I drank them and I liked them and I was going to write how much I liked them and why but I got distracted by your website because it’s so annoying.

First of all, it’s Flash. Flash is pretty, but if I am coming to your website because I want to contact you, I don’t want to get the equivalent of “please hold” while your flash website spins through it’s thirty seconds or so of download and setup time. Also, it is impossible to bookmark pages on a flash site. Next time, stay away from flash. It’s stupid and serves no one other than the design firms who profit from making it.
Second of all, congrats on getting the #1 Google hit for “highball energy drinks” but that’s not what I clicked on at first because the description is “setstats. CLUB SODA. GRAPEFRUIT. LEMON LIME. WILD BERRY. ORANGE. ORIGINAL. ABOUT US. WHERE TO BUY. MEDIA. HIBALLERS. DISTRIBUTION. CONTACT US. PRODUCTS …” and I automatically assumed it was a spam site. You need to fix that. I can probably do that for you if you want to hire me.
Third of all, I was able to find the email address to give you feedback at but it was a graphic so I had to read it and transcribe it over in my gmail window. I couldn’t just click. This is bad because when you put a barrier like that between yourself and the people who want to contact you a certain percentage are just going to give up. Well maybe that’s what you intended. And why are you using the address “info” anyway? All the ‘bots know to put “info” before @address and have since like 1999.  I imagine you’re getting spammed to death. Please use a web contact form like normal people.

The graphic design is good. Whoever did that for you was worth every penny.

Anyhow, about the drinks: they are awesome. They pepped me up without making me strung out. And I was not afraid to drink them. I live in the City and get handed free promotional samples of energy drinks ALL THE TIME, it’s like some big guru business person said there was gold in the energy drinks market and everyone and their cat is making one. Seriously, I have a dozen in my fridge. They are for guests. I am afraid to drink them because they look poisonous. One, they are full of corn syrup. Two, they look like liquid crack. I’m afraid if I drink them I’ll end up all tweaked out and shaking. But the hiballs look like those fruit sodas which are mostly fruit juice and carbonated water. Also you have a flavor that’s just simulant and fizzy water, which is cool because I’m always on a diet. I had another one that was some berry flavor and it was also cool because it was like 70 calories. And it tasted pretty good and didn’t make me cracked out. So I will probably start buying them now, esp if you can get them into Trader Joes (where I buy most of my food that’s not from Farmer’s markets).

I probably never would have discovered your drinks if you hadn’t sponsored Startup Weekend. Also, I like companies that do stuff like that. So thank you.

-Amy Lightholder

ps: the glass bottles are cute too

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A friend of mine owns a local gallery where she hosts occasional events for queer women, and we’re doing a class/networking/salon thing at the end of this month. I’m going to teach search engine optimization, she’s going to serve nibbles, and we’re going to do our damndest to make sure everybody at the event meets everybody else.  So, without furthur ado, allow me to present:

Search Engine Optimization for Queer Women Small Business Owners & Entrepreneurs

What: An education and networking event for women small business owners and entrepreneurs.
When: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 from 6:30 PM – 9:30 PM (PT)
Where: a.Muse Gallery – 614 Alabama Street (@ Mariposa) San Francisco, CA
Cost: $20 online preregistration / $25 at the door (if not sold out)

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the process of improving the volume or quality of traffic to a web site via search engine results. Typically, the higher your site appears in the search results list, the more visitors it will receive …and the more customers you will have.

The evening will begin with a lecture covering the basics of search engine optimization,. You will learn:

  • The market forces affecting Google search terms and how this affects you and your business
  • Why choosing the right keyword(s) is more important than almost anything else
  • How to pick search terms that are specific and useful
  • The most common mistakes new webowners make
  • Three small changes that make a big difference

Lecture and demonstration will be followed by personalized mini-assessments. This process will give you a deeper understanding of how the general principles of SEO are applied to specific business needs. There will also be ample opportunity to network and collaborate with your fellow business women. Bring pen & paper for taking notes and plenty of business cards to trade!

6:30 – 7:00 Arrival and networking
7:00 – 7:30 Introduction to Search Engine Optimization
7:30 – 9:30 Hands-on instruction and collaboration

Space is limited, so register early.
Buy tickets here!

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Seven Reasons You Should Have Begun Using Social Media Yesterday

July 9, 2009

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January 14, 2009

I received several messages this week in my Facebook and LinkedIn accounts from friends who were promoting some service or another. The messages were basically spam: mass-mailed, impersonal, email advertisements offering little or no value to the recipient. They were perfect examples of What Not To Do.
Facebook and LinkedIn derive their value from being “networks [...]

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Macworld 2009

January 7, 2009

Macworld is happening this week, and I went because (a) Vista sucks and since I no longer need it for pimping my mad SharePoint/TeamFoundation/etc. skills, I am totally switching to Apple now; (b) As a microbusiness technology consultant it is my job to go to expos and see if there might be any useful information [...]

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Four Great Social Media Articles

December 8, 2008

Miscellaneous great links about social media that have graced my screen recently:
How to Get Freelance Work With Twitter – Kim Woodbridge breaks it down. Even if you don’t know what Twitter IS yet, this should work for you, Her directions are that clear.“Never in the last 100 years of business has there been such an [...]

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I really need to get into the habit of taking a mid-day break

November 21, 2008

Because now my eyeballs are glazing over and I need a break but the sun is sinking and the idea of going outside is completely unappealing.
I tell myself this every day around 2pm, but it’s practically impossible to pry myself out of my house. I’m not agoraphobic or anything, but the lengths I have to [...]

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Is Social Media Killing PR? – event writeup

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So, I have a mission to visit as many events of interest to San Francisco Micropreneurs as possible. Today, I’m at the Horn Group’s “Is Social Media Killing PR?” blogger panel. This is the first event I’ve been to so far where I wasn’t already part of the group and I feel a little bit [...]

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Listening to Naomi reminds me of a Martha Stewart article

November 7, 2008

A few years ago, I read this article – not by Martha Stewart, but about her. The author (whose name now escapes me, as well as the title of the article) was writing about a video she’d once watched where Martha was demonstrating how to make a moss carpet for bonsai. She would pick up [...]

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Social Marketing Goodness

November 6, 2008

In my family of origin, if you really admire someone, you almost never say it to their face. For some reason, this is considered over-familiar and manipulative. If you really want to make someone feel good about themselves, you talk about them behind their backs. Loudly, so they can eavesdrop. If you’re the shy sort, [...]

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